To Explain here's a true story titled... "Confessions of an Ex-Porn Addict"
I use to watch porn everyday; even at work, who am I kidding... Especially at work! At work the internet was better, the computer was faster, and if I got caught my excuse was "Damn I opened an email from a stupid friend not realizing it was a porn." It went from watching out of boredom to looking forward to going home to continue watching. Sometimes I'd lock myself up in the bedroom in the middle of the day and the next time I looked up from the computer it'd be dark outside. Clicking play on a new video was like opening up a Christmas present but Deep inside I could feel it was wrong and I prayed hard to stop... Ok that's not all true. Deep inside it felt good and I did pray hard to stop but what made me think it was wrong was that a lot of things were going wrong in my life like a car battery dying one week and a flat tire the next. Call me crazy but it felt like the devil was starting to influence my life... Yet I watched on, the thought of a new celebrity sex tape was too strong a temptation plus they sold baby oil in the dollar shop.
To me porn was nothing more than free entertainment but I remember hearing a alcoholic say "I love the bottle so much that the sight of someone putting ice in a MacDonald's cup in the break room made me go back to my office and pour a drink" When I heard this I thought to myself that the simple sight of a sexy news reporter on the 8pm news would make me search the internet looking for naked pictures of her... it was then I confessed to myself that I was addicted to porn.
Prayers didn't stop my addiction so I asked God "Why is watching porn a sin if I'm not hurting anybody? Who cares what I do in my spare time? It isn't like I'm neglecting my family by spending all my money on drugs; porn is free entertainment! In fact I save money watching porn because I go out less. The only sin I see from watching porn is that I'm starting to like darker porn like drunk girls getting victimized at parties or college chicks getting felt up on buses by strangers against without their permission. Other than that it's just entertainment, they're just acting... Dear Lord Jesus Christ, if porn is really a bad sin then please help me to understand why, Amen." I continued to enjoy porn but a few nights later God answered my prayer in a dream or should I say nightmare...
I dreamt I was in a car speeding on a dark road. I couldn't see anything but I kept going faster and faster. My heart was racing then suddenly the car sped on a cliff and like a roll coaster I felt myself falling and I realized I was going to die then I SCREAMED and woke in a cold sweat dropping to my knees in front of the sofa begging God to explain that dream at 2 in the morning. That dream was too real; I knew something was wrong in my life. After about an hour I fell back to sleep and God explained the dream to me... I heard a voice say "The speeding car represents the high speed internet and the darkness that surrounded you represents all the evils surrounding porn." God explain that many of the girls I watched on the porn videos were not actor but sex slaves, forced to sell their bodies. Many of the women I watch were mothers addicted to drugs selling their bodies for the next high. Many of the college students I watched were raped at those parties and later tried to committed suicide. Then God ask me how would I feel if my sister got drunk at a party and was filmed having sex with two guys. Or if my daughter started doing porn... At the thought or my mother being raped and filmed I started to cry. God then explained that the longer I drove in the car the deeper and deeper I dove into the dark sin of porn and when I went over the cliff that was me dying in sin. The scream was because nothing could save me... I chose to die in sin. It must have been 4am when I woke up again and wrote the entire dream down that's why I can tell it to you 7 years later but I still remember crying as I wrote begging God's forgiveness.
Two weeks later I was back to watching porn but praying afterwards because I was so scared I'd die in my sleep and go to hell. Sometimes I'd even pray while watching porn just in case God came. I just couldn't kick the habit. Until one day I read Mark 9:29 "Some demons only come out through prayer and fasting." I now realized I was fighting a powerful demon and I had to do more than pray but also fast. Sometimes I'd fast from 12pm that night to 12pm the following night, that's 24hrs of just drinking lots of water. All the while praying and reading my Bible when I got the chance even though not eating gave me headaches. What I noticed was that fasting helped me to go longer without watching porn but after 2 weeks or so I'd still backslide. It was hard no pun intended. But one day I heard a preacher talk about closing doors in your life that allow demons to come in... What I realized is that praying and fasting would drive the demon away but as soon as I listened to rap music or watched R rated movies I'd relapse. Now it all made sense, I was allowing the demon to come back into my life through these doors that glorified sex, violence, and money .
To make a long story short, Prayer, Fasting, and the decision to stop listening to demonic movies and music is what made me give up porn for over 7 years. I may slip and watch a celebrity sex tape but that's maybe once every 7 months or so. I'm not perfect but I'm praying and if you suffer from porn please know it's IMPOSSIBLE to quit porn through selfwill but EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD.